In honor of Rosa Parks

In honor of Rosa Parks and the 55th anniversary of the day she took a stand by taking a seat and changed the world.

The Neville Brothers: Sister Rosa

Yes. Thank you.

Hallelujah - Annie Lennox Style

Breathtaking. Been loving Annie Lennox since the Eurythmics and Sweet Dreams. The Leonard Cohen original of this song is like no other, but this cover will make you weep all over again. "Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"

Give to the Max

Today is "Give to the Max" day in Minnesota, a terrific initiative led by GiveMN to encourage giving to your favorite causes and organizations. The biggest challenge about the day is seeing plugs to give to so many great organizations. It makes me think about how much fun it would be to be rich and give so much to so many. But did you know what on average, lower income people give a higher percentage of their incomes to charity than do rich people? You don't have to rich to give.

So this year I decided to contribute a little more to two organizations than a small amount to several. 

I chose the Minnesota Citizen's Council on Crime and Justice (CCJ). Here's why:

A message from CCJ's president Pamela Alexander:

Frederick Douglas said, “Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails. . . neither persons nor property will be safe.” While these words are more than 100 years old, they resonate against all the complexities of the 21st century American legal system. The Council on Crime and Justice stands as a bulwark at the crossroad of law and justice.We work to address the racial disparities in Minnesota's criminal justice system, improve school performance among at-risk students, and explore how restorative justice works within families where domestic abuse is present.

CCJ continues its comprehensive advocacy efforts to improve employment opportunities for people with criminal records, address the urgent and increasing need for victims’ services with particular focus on children exposed to domestic violence.  By helping to keep incarcerated fathers connected to their families and children CCJ can prepare these fathers for a successful release.  Our continuing legislative efforts focus on shaping the public and legislative debate on issues of import to both victims and offenders. Through these efforts and with your help we can demonstrate the value of action-oriented research, effective demonstration models and outcome based programs that make a positive difference in people's lives. You can help to make the difference between recidivism and reintegration, between childhood and child horrors, between a handout and a hand up. Your support is critical to the success of these programs and projects. Thank you for your interest, consideration and continued support.

In other words, a place that cares about and advocates for people most others could care less about: the disenfranchised and those who love them. Like my son. Like my family. To donate go here. 

I also chose the Minneapolis YWCA Early Childhood Programs. Here's why:

The YWCA of Minneapolis believes all children deserve a high quality early childhood education. This belief is backed with over 30 years of proven excellence and measurable results.

100% of YWCA preschoolers test ready for kindergarten surpassing the state average of 60%. And 96% of children, infant through kindergarten, are on-track with age appropriate development.

Last year the three urban YWCA Children’s Centers served:

• 435 children from 307 households

• 67% of families were low-income households

• 60% of all households are at or below poverty level

• 56% were single parent households, primarily lead by mothers

• 79% were children of color

(And they have cared for my grandchild since she was a toddler, providing safe, affordable, loving care, and the preschool program she needed to be ready for kindergarten this fall.)

To donate go here.

When it's dark I get SAD

When it's dark I get sad. Seasonal Affective Disorder, that is - SAD. Such a clever acronym for this thing that feels so heavy, like someone poured molasses on my normally sunny, sparkly soul. 


SAD is a recognized mood illness that happens for most people during the late fall and winter months, especially in winter climes like Minnesota. You can read all about the symptoms and more here.


People used to think it was fake, probably because it mostly women are diagnosed with it. It takes the medical community a while to take us seriously sometimes. But it's in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), so it has been anointed as real.


I'll admit that I was personally skeptical about SAD and resisted the diagnosis when my doctor made it about five years ago. In my childhood family rules for living included, "Just snap out of it," "Don't cry over spilled milk," "Mind over matter," and "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." 


So I blamed myself for my fall and winter low energy, for the overwhelming urge once home from work to get into "comfy clothes," get under a blanket on the sofa, pour a glass of wine, ignore phone calls and texts, and watch bad TV. (I actually voted more than once during American Idol last winter. Now that's depressing.) 


I never got "SAD" until recently. At least I don't think I did. I grew up in Minnesota and when I was a kid, winter was my favorite time of year. I loved skating, sledding, skiing, and snowball fights with the neighbor kids. My mom believed getting outside was good for us and I remember being bundled up and sent out for hours at a time. We had fun.


As an adult I was a single parent. There was no time to be "SAD." Exhausted and stressed maybe, but lethargic and withdrawn? Not a chance. I'd get home from work and start my second job which included cooking, cleaning, and arm wrestling two kids through homework they had no interest in doing. Maybe I had SAD then but I was stretched too thin to notice (and clueless that feeling so stressed could have indeed been a symptom).


It's probably no coincidence that I started noticing the symptoms for SAD once I was an empty nester and had the time and space to melt on the sofa at night.


I'm coming to accept that I indeed have SAD. If I look back at my journal entries, every year they start to get gloomy around November and lighten up by mid-February. I am a child of the sun and light. During the heat of summer I'm my own comic midsummer night's dream, twirling in the giddy glow of a happy, satisfied soul. 


It's hard to come down from that summer high every fall.


I do stuff to deal with getting SAD. I have a light box (it's actually called a "Happy Light") that sends 10,000 lux of simulated daylight my way 30 minutes each day as I drink my morning coffee. The light is bright and annoying. I'd like it better, I think, if it also gave off heat and actually felt a bit like sunshine. I take a Vitamin D supplement (though sunlight is the best Vitamin D therapy), and work on eating right and exercise. And having fun, the best Rx of all. If all else fails, I add a low dose anti-depressant to the mix.


But this year, as we passed the Summer Solstice (meaning the days were going to start getting shorter), I went back into denial and was determined to be the master of my moods (mind over matter, remember) and to keep that easy, breezy, summer girl feeling all year long, without any help, even as we haplessly cascaded toward the fall and winter, the monochrome gray, and the long, dark nights. 


I held on valiantly until daylight savings ended, despite all the tell-tale signs that SAD was creeping around the bend again. Once I admitted the comfy clothes, blanket, sofa, and lack of desire for a social life had gripped me once again, I capitulated, and am back on my anti-SAD routine for yet another winter. 


I'd like to think I could will my winter blues away. Maybe I'll move to the desert some day. But until then (or maybe just in general), I have to accept when it's dark, I get SAD.

Transgender basketball player makes history

Kye Allums

When I first read about this, I was moved to tears by the bravery and guts of Kye Allums, the first openly transgender player in NCAA Division I women's basketball history. And I feel an almost maternal, home-state sense of pride in this barrier breaking young person since Allums grew up in Hugo, Minnesota, and was a star on the Centennial High School basketball team. 


Big props also to George Washington University for their support of Allums as this wall comes tumbling down for athletes. The locker room closet is still fierce. 

While Allums wants to be identified as male, he is not taking any hormones or doing any medical protocols in order not to risk eligibility to play. Read the whole story on outsports.com. A few excerpts here:

"Not many people noticed a slight change on the George Washington University website earlier this year. It concerned a player on the school’s women’s basketball team named Kay-Kay Allums. Just a couple letters were taken away, a Y was moved and an E was added to form the player’s new name: Kye Allums. To most people it was meaningless, but to Allums the change was the most significant of his lifetime.

“A name is just a bunch of letters, but the letters make up a word and the words that make up my name have so many more emotions behind them,” Allums said. "My old name, that’s just not me. When I hear Kye, everything feels okay, everything is right.”

For the last 20 years, Kay-Kay Allums had appeared to the world as female. She was born with the anatomy that other women have. Her mom tried to dress her in only the most feminine clothes. But inside was a man waiting to burst out of the female body he was born in. 

On Nov. 13, Kye Allums will introduce himself to the NCAA basketball world at the Best Buy Classic in Minneapolis in a game against the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. When he steps foot on the court, Allums will be the first publicly transgender person to play NCAA Div. 1 college basketball. 

Allums grew up in the small town of Hugo, Minn., a half hour north of Minneapolis. Head coach Mike Bozeman scheduled the tournament appearance as a homecoming for him, long before he transitioned to male. The junior guard’s inaugural game identifying as a man will also be the first time he has played in front of his hometown crowd. While Allums is making a change now, most of his family and friends will recognize him as the same old Kye..."

Here is a video that shows a self-assured Allums talking about being transgender:





You go, Kye! 


Related recently released report: "On the Team: Equal Opportunities for Transgender Student Athletes"