Don't shop for glasses alone

I've been waiting to get new glasses for over a year.

It began in Nov. 2007 when our puggle Cookie took my very cute (and expensive) glasses from on top of a table and chewed them up. This was during her reign of terror period, where nothing was safe from her drive to destroy. Puggles are cute, but they are a breeding experiment run afoul. Pug + Beagle = cute = naughty naughty.

Here is a picture of Cookie, and a boot she destroyed:

Here is a picture of my old cute glasses, pre-chewed:

I've worn glasses since I was seven, so that should be your clue that I needed to get new glasses quickly. Forshadowing the disaster of a year that was ahead for me, I decided to get "plain" glasses, something different than my usual choice of funky, full of personality glasses. I chose some affordable, conservative, rimless glasses. Within three months (past the point of return), I hated them. I thought they made me look dull and dorky.

Here is a picture of those nice, but dull glasses:

I buy glasses using my health care flex spending account through work. It's your money, but it's taken out of your paycheck pre-tax dollars. So it's like a loan with no interest, and one that lowers your gross taxable income! It's how I justify spending (and am able to spend) $500 or more on glasses. (It's not just the frames, but the lenses. I am near sighted, far sighted and have astigmatism). The wireless ones were cheaper, but that was still my glasses alottment for the year.

So I've been waiting not patiently for 2009 to use my new flex care dollars and get some new specs! I went to the Uptown area of Minneapolis, a trendy spot chocked full of "eyewear" shops. Full of hope. Needing a pick-me-up.

It was a disaster. Every time I looked in a mirror, instead of seeing glasses, I saw a very middle aged woman, past her prime, not cute, not funky, entering the deteriorating side of age. Sixty frames later, I texted my friend Lynette , "I look old and ragged and horrible. There are no glasses that will be cute on me ever again," and headed for home.

As I was getting in my car, my phone rang. It was Lynette. "Honey where are you, I'm parking. You need help."

We met at eyedeals, an "eyewear" store with very spendy, amazingly fabulous glasses. Lynette sat me down. The very helpful Tyler was at our service. We explained that I was was shaken by my glasses shopping experience and that Lynette had come to rescue me. Next thing I knew Tyler was bringing cute frame after cute frame for me to try. They ALL looked good on me. We had to decide between cute, cuter, and cutest! I was delirious with choice. We gathered all the shoppers in the store -- a threesome of gay men (thank you Minneapolis, for being so fabulously queer) and two random straight (I think) women. We voted on the top four choices. And it was unanimous! I had my new glasses.

Here they are (and they are even cuter and funkier than they are in this picture):

And here is Lynette, who rescued me from myself:

Lessons learned: 1. Never shop for glasses alone. 2. Call Lynette. She'll help.

Update Jan. 31

Lesson 3: Don't be swayed by popular opinion

I got my glasses about a week later. They weren't as great as I remembered -- too thick and boxy. They made me look serious. And the bows were transluscent, casting an orange glow all around my eyes. So I went back and got my second choice, which I picked up today and love. And the truth is, I liked them best the first go around. It was a $90 reminder to trust your gut and don't be swayed by popular opinion.