"...The bullying, threats, and acts of violence following the passage of health care reform have been shocking, but they’re only the most recent manifestations of an increasing sense of desperation.The family of my childhood was a picture perfect example of who was the American majority a half a century ago -- the "us" who was in power in the era of "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best." White, protestant, straight, old school republican (economically conservative, socially liberal), father who left for work every day in a suit, mom who stayed home to raise the kids and do volunteer work, classic Midwestern suburban middle class.It’s an extension of a now-familiar theme: some version of “take our country back.” The problem is that the country romanticized by the far right hasn’t existed for some time, and its ability to deny that fact grows more dim every day. President Obama and what he represents has jolted extremists into the present and forced them to confront the future. And it scares them...
...This at a time when the country is becoming more diverse (some demographers believe that 2010 could be the first year that most children born in the country will be nonwhite), less doctrinally dogmatic, and college enrollment is through the roof. The Tea Party, my friends, is not the future.
You may want “your country back,” but you can’t have it. That sound you hear is the relentless, irrepressible march of change. Welcome to America: The Remix."
Growing up, I assumed we were the "us" that defined America because all evidence around me told me so: where I lived, who I went to school with, what was on T.V., on the news and in the history books, and whoever was President. Everyone else was "them." I was taught by my parents that "they" (them) were a part of our great country, but (more subtly told) not quite as good or right as "us." I honestly didn't know any better until the civil rights movement, and when I went to college in the mid 70s and began to slowly meet bits and pieces of everyone else besides "us."
One and two generations later, my family of today is one example of the "us" that defines America for the 21st century and beyond. We are many races, many cultures, straight and gay, multilingual, new citizens and born citizens. I know we are the new "us" because all evidence around me tells me so: where I live, who my kids went to school with, what is on T.V. and in the news, slowly changing history books, who is President, the Speaker of the House, and the newest member of the Supreme Court. The "us" of my childhood is careening toward the "them" of tomorrow. No, make that today. Make that now.
My father just turned 80. For much of his life he quietly lived deeply within the privilege of the "us" of yesterday. Now, sometimes he is a bit nostalgic for those days, that were for him a time when all was right in his world. But, he always adds, "I realize now that was only true for some of us, and that it was a terrible time for so many others."
Unlike the tea party and all it represents, my father has evolved with the times. He sees that a new day is upon us. He told me after Obama won that he is the right president for our times. He accepts his lesbian daughter, his African American grandchildren and great grandchildren, my African American lesbian butch spouse, his Latina niece, African nephew, Latina/o and Black great nieces and nephews, and on and on.
Most important, and I say this with utmost pride, he is a shining example that you can let go of power with grace and accept change with dignity.
He might not be here to see the country he loves when it inevitably turns from majority white to majority brown (in all of its hues) in about 2020 or so, but he knows that day is coming. That in reality, it's already arrived -- reflected tangibly for him in the fabric that now defines his family, and in the president that runs his country. And he is at peace.
I wish the terrified right could learn from him and countless other people like him. That they could learn to let go of a false reality and see that living a life through a lens of love and acceptance creates more not less. That the change that's been coming for decades is has arrived.
That's the remix -- an "us" with room for everyone.
Dedicated to my father, with great love and respect.
The country they want back never existed. It is a figment of their imagination. I grew up in a small(12,000) Midwestern town in middle America. We were Italians, and Poles, and Bohunks, and Finnish, and Swedish, and probably several other ethnicities I never knew about. Most were first and second generation immigrants. They came to work in the mines and find a better life. The men went to work and the women stayed home and raised the kids and kept the house. It worked for them. Of course, they were all the same color so that excluded a lot of people. When I was twelve, my mother died and I came to live in the big city. I met lots of people who weren't like me. I liked it. Then I moved to Los Angeles, had kids, got a job (someone had to feed the kids), and met people from all over the world. Lots of different people with lots of different ideas. When my kids were on the brink of becoming teens, I moved back to my first big city because LA was never "home". It was so bland here. It was like everybody was cut from the same mold. Thank God, that has changed now. It is a more interesting place than it used to be. The tea party people don't speak for me.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about the figment of their (and some of ours) imagination! It never existed, and what parts did exist did so on the backs of others.
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