To lead with love and kindness.
Even in excruciating pain, my mother embodied love. She was kind to everyone. She led with gracious dignity until her last breath.
This early morning I am swimming in those memories, perhaps a gift from her angel-self, as I battle with a different kind of pain. As we approach election day, my heart hurts and I can barely breathe.
Hate has never left our troubled country, but eight years ago, for a shining moment that manifested itself on that magical night in Grant Park, we led with hope. Since then, since the visible marker of another barrier broken, since the promise that if a Black man could be elected president all things might be possible, another man - a terrible white man - has given voice to the ugly mobs that were lying dormant just under the surface and invited them to rise up once again. The mobs of whiteness that once gathered with their children under the hanging bodies of lynched Black men for entertainment, the ones that bombed churches, the ones that put masks on their heads and terrorized innocent people, have been awakened and feel emboldened.
Sometimes it feels like hate leads now. Not hope, and certainly not love.
I know the truth is that love and kindness, respect and caring, are everywhere. But how easily their evidence is muted each time we learn of something new - a church burned, a football game where people felt (what did they feel; that it would be fun, funny?) to costume themselves as that terrible white man with nooses around the necks of others costumed as our current lovely president and our - hopefully - next first woman president. A man who hangs "fake" Black bodies from the tree in his front yard, a sign supporting the terrible white man just below them. How far are we from the day we learn of real bodies hanging once again? And on my own college campus, targeted hate at our Muslim students and our immigrant young people - who perhaps come from families who perhaps have fled unspeakable terror and hardship to come to this country with hope for a better life.
I want to scream. Not on my campus. Not in my community. Not in my country.
STOP THE HATE.
LEAD WITH LOVE AND KINDNESS.
BE LOVE.
I will go to polls on Tuesday and vote. Of course. Hopefully enough of us who want to fight this evil unleashed will go vote, too. And we will win. At least we will defeat the white man with the voice of bitter hate.
I just hope it's not too late. With the mobs and their kin no longer dormant, how do we slay the beast? How do we keep moving forward? How do we interrupt this madness, this terrible danger?
I am going to follow those lessons from my mother. I'm going to rise and rise until my last breath, no matter the pain, to fight with love, fiercely.
To protest hate wherever it manifests.
To insist Black Lives Matter. That water is life.
To center other voices.
To love across difference.
To honor my beautiful mother.
My mom with my kids, who are now in their 30s.
This piece moved me Ann. I still keenly feel the loss of my mom and I too reflect on motherly love and lessons . Your voice is passionate with the feelings many of us a share as we near election day. Your mom is so proud of you! Thanks for writing.
ReplyDeleteAnd regarding this election season...
So, lets say "a (nother) terrible white man" is elected. Don't you think we were due/overdue for someone like him to surface and become a viable contender? And by someone like him I mean someone who struts his terribleness with pride and bravado. The fact that no one can shut him up or shut him down is a really interesting fact. I've heard it said that he doesn't really want to be president, he just wants to amass minions and win. I don't know if I believe that, but I can imagine him saying upon losing that he never really wanted that stupid job anyway. What I do believe is that many, many people want him to be president and they are not all easily recognized haters, and they were not created by the candidate, and although some of them will pipe down once the excitement is over, others will be spurred onward having learned that it is possible to find support (in high places) for their outspoken prejudice and hatred--that genie's not going back in the bottle. But theirs are not the only strident voices energized by this campaign. Among those who want to scream and who actually are screaming, "not on my campus, not in my community, not in my country" are people who haven't before raised their voices in outrage. They've been awakened from (or at least are tossing and turning in) their american dream and are confronting hate and injustice out loud, in public for the first time. Not being Pollyanna here-- I don't think whats happening with this election is a good thing. I would never have wished for this kind of campaign. But I do feel like a rock has been moved and the snakes who've always been with us are visibly crawling out at people who have long been able to avoid looking a snake in the face. I think that kinda needed to happen. So, we'll see. I would love to be able to have this conversation with my mom.
This is so good and thought provoking, RoAnne. Especially: "a (nother) terrible white man" - yes indeed. And that we were due for someone like him, that the snakes under the rock are out and scaring people to scream out who were previously allowed comfortable, willful ignorance... also the not so easily recognizable haters who are not going back into the bottle. Please go take these thoughts and write a longer piece so I/we can further read your brilliance. I wish you could be having this conversation with your mom, too.
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