Should queer people marry?

Four years ago today my handsome wuzband and I got legally married in Massachusetts. We have the marriage license framed and hung on the wall, along with some photos, and the broom we jumped over. 

To mark this day, I am posting a paper my (now) 24-year-old daughter wrote when she in high school (around 2003). The assignment was to write a position paper, and much to my surprise, she wrote about and took a position in favor of gay marriage. (Note: My spouse was not yet in our lives.)

At that time in her life she was somewhat embarrassed of her queer mom and was not fully "out" to her friends (I came out and left her dad when she was eight). Yet she wrote this. If a kid gets it, well what else is there to say?

Gay Marriage Position Paper

Right now in the United States there is a law called the Defense of Marriage Act.  The law says that it is illegal for gay and lesbian people to get married. It also says that each state can decide if it will accept or not accept any gay or lesbian marriage that takes place in a state or country where gay marriage is legal.  My position in this paper is that law should be changed so that gay and lesbian people can choose to get legally married.


There is going to be a big fight about that law. Recently, the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that civil marriage was open to anyone, including gays and lesbians. That is a big step forward for gays and lesbians toward getting their rights. But there are a lot of people who think this is wrong and don’t agree with it. They think marriage should only be between a man and a woman. So this is going to be a big political issue as gay and lesbian people fight for their rights and other people try to stop them. It could even affect the presidential race – it’s that big. 


Since this country began, different groups of people have been fighting for their rights, and slowly things have changed. At first only white men could vote. Then women fought for the right to vote and won. Then African American people fought for the right to vote and won.  Just 30-40 years ago in some states people of different races couldn’t marry and African Americans had no civil rights. Now that’s changed. There is a pattern of more and more people fighting for what they believe in and winning. Now gay and lesbian people are taking up that fight.

I support this fight because I think two people who love each other should be
able to choose to get married. It shouldn’t matter if they are two men or two women or of different races. People should get to marry who they love.

There shouldn’t be laws that govern private things like love. Our country should support love. Some of the same people who think that people shouldn’t live together before marriage are also against gay and lesbian people getting married. Now how ridiculous is that! That means that if two men or two women are committed to each other and want to share their lives together, they have to live together and not be married. Gay and lesbian people are fighting to get to live their lives how they want to and not be frowned upon.

In our society some people also think gays and lesbians shouldn’t have children. They think that being gay or lesbian is perverted and will rub off on the kids. This is not true. Gay and lesbian parents are no different than straight parents. Kids who have gay and lesbian parents see all of the easy and hard things that go with trying to make a marriage and family work. And gay and lesbian people are going to have kids no matter what. So we should support them and let them get married.  

Besides, if they get married, they are the ones who have to live with each other. So it should be up to them. It’s hard to keep a marriage and family together, and even harder if society isn’t supporting you. 

Personally, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business who someone chooses to love. I would be mad if there was a law saying I couldn’t marry someone I loved and wanted to marry.  

In conclusion, everyone who is straight and supports the rights of gay and lesbian people should speak up and help make change. If you are against it, just mind your own business. It’s not your place to make other people unhappy just because you don’t believe in it. Just give people room to be themselves and live their lives. I hope the law changes because the more people who have their rights, the better this country will be.
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Anniversary - Tony Toni Tone (How could I NOT post this!)